By absorbing Yahoo's fan base, the bulked-up Bing is slated to control 30% of the market and in its wildest dreams loosen Google's 65% stranglehold. (Confused? Mashable makes sense of the merger.)

My dad's a Chicago Cubs fan and so I'm an unabashed underdog lover. I relish every late-season flame-out by the Red Sox, the Yankees, and the Cardinals. In the search world, Google is all three franchises rolled into one...and more. I should be marking the days on my calendar 'til the upstart Bing smites the great Googliath.

But I can't. This merger stinks. In spite of my underdog love, I find the deal inelegant and unoriginal, and I hope it turns out worse than the Washington Nationals.

Here's my sports-fan's take on the merger: Two teams, neither of which is very skilled, have pooled their best players and their owners' money. They now have nine good players but no chemistry, no history, and no loyalty.

Google earned its place as the champion of search engines through its clean design, thorough search results, and fun aesthetic (like its ever-morphing logo).

Even if the re-conceived Bing rocks "on the field," I'm not sure I'd use it. I have little respect for companies and sports teams (I'm talking to you, George Steinbrenner) who buy and trade their way to the top, rather than rising through their own innovations and talents.

I believe in fan loyalty. I've survived a Century of Cub-tastrophes, a Dodger Drought, and Duke Football. But I'm a Google devotee now, more than ever. Long live the king.